1. worthyourweightinfanfiction:

    armadillo:

    REAL TALK IF THERES A FIRE AT MY SCHOOL I AM NOT WALKING IN AN ORDERLY FASHION AND THEN GETTING MY NAME MARKED OFF IM RUNNING FOR MY LIFE AND IM TAKING MY GOD DAMN BAG WITH ME 

    one time there was an unscheduled fire alarm and i just happened to have my bag on my shoulder when it went off so my teacher made me go back into what, to his knowledge, was a burning building so i could put my bag back

    (Source: bastille, via homeworkmyass)

  2. rabioheab:

    my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen 

    (via homeworkmyass)

  3. wentzguyliner:

    Emo Problem #826-
    When the wind blows your side bangs back, and you see everyone you hate, with both eyes

    (via morgan-freemans-wife)

  4. direboars:

    popped—a—molly:

    wake the fuck up Tyler

    (via jesuschristvevo)

    azulalaufeyson:

    johnandpaul1:

    "Tim keeps having me kill his wife in his movies… I don’t know what that means," -Johnny Depp

    I love this post

    (Source: loopholes, via sarcastic-snowflake)

  5. pizzaismylifepizzaisking:

    ultrafacts:

    Source For more facts, Follow Ultrafacts

    Wait a minute…i was reading ultrafacts  &realized that THIS GUY WAS THE SAME GUY WHO DID THIS

    (Source)

    &

    (Source)

    I think he was crazy

    (via ultrafacts)

  6. (Source: ruinedchildhood, via i-suck-dick)

  7. slomps:

    slomps:

    slomps:

    Apparently if you saw yourself in person, you wouldn’t recognise yourself

    So my biggest question is, WHAT THE FUCK do I look like

    And do I look hot

    (via legit-humour)

  8. itseasytobemerry:

    thismachinespewssarcasm:

    itseasytobemerry:

    why didn’t harry use the chamber of secrets when teaching dumbledore army? i mean, only HE could open the door?

    because the giant basilisk skeleton might have been a distraction

    if anything it sets the mood

    (Source: itseasytoremember, via legit-humour)

  9. majortvjunkie:

    why he lick me

    (Source: noisnotme, via bumtumbling)

    iraffiruse:

    Trying to sleep while drunk

    (via onlylolgifs)

  10. teawithaview:

    beautifulgodzilla:

    beautifulgodzilla:

    THIS TOOK A FAR DIFFERENT TURN THEN I EXPECTED

    This sounds like the start of a YA romance story

    (via page-404-not-found)

  11. klipspringers:

    driver roll up the partition please

    (Source: awwww-cute, via page-404-not-found)